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You will create a 4 to 6 – page paper or graphic document with 1 page for references.
Up to 7 pages in total – a title page is not required. If you use PowerPoint or a PDF image, think about the length guidance in terms of equivalent content.
May helpful references:
1. Fisher, R., Ury, W.L. & Patton, B. (2011). Getting to yes: Negotiating agreement without giving in. New York, NY: Penguin Group USA, Inc.
2. Patterson, K., Grenny, J., MaxField, D., McMillon, R., & Switzler, A. (2013). Crucial accountability. New York, NY: McGraw Hill Education. (**NOTE — this is a new text for this course as of Jan. 2019).
3. Scudder, T., Patterson, M. & Mitchell, K. (2011). Have a nice conflict: How to find success and satisfaction in the most unlikely places. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.

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Course Reflective Creative Response: Infographic Response (15% of total grade)
Conflict will always be part of your lives. How you engage with conflict, approach it, and work with
the tools and resources we have learned in this course can dramatically affect the success or
failure we experience as leaders.
This assignment will encompass all the learning you have experienced throughout this course,
  
conflict in the future…”
You should capture as many insights as possible to display in your final submission. Express those
insights in as many ways as possible to produce a reference tool to guide your future conflicts.
As you review what you learned for this project:
  
synthesizing key insights,
demonstrate knowledge, skills, and concepts, and
offer practical applications.
Details:
This final assessment will be a reflective infographic or creative paper response to the prompt:
“After taking LDRS 400 these ideas have changed the way I think about conflict and how I will engage
checking your notes,
course content,
and your previous papers/ forums to prepare your submission.
Take notes; think about the prompt question. Provide references and examples to support your
submission.
You will create a 4 to 6 – page paper or graphic document with 1 page for references.
Up to 7 pages in total – a title page is not required. If you use PowerPoint or a PDF image, think about
the length guidance in terms of equivalent content.
Final reflection:
Include Communication process, MVS, Crucial Accountability, Negotiations, and Culture.
Capture both key concepts and models and identify detailed tools and skills to apply during
a conflict.
Consider how faith shapes how you manage conflict.
Use images, shapes, charts, graphs, quotes, etc.
Use examples.
Your goal should be to demonstrate as much content as creatively possible.
This does not have to be in APA formatting, but do cite your sources.
 
  
o o
Tip: this project replaces a final exam. Imagine like a final exam, the depth and breadth of learning that would be explored in that exam. This assignment should reflect that same level of both breadth and detail that exam would have displayed.

,

Ldrs 400 Interpersonal Leadership: Managing Conflict
Lecture #2

Listen better

Sound expert Julian Treasure says we are losing our listening in a louder world. He shares ways to re-tune our ears for conscious listening — to other people and the world around us.
Julian Treasure is the chair of the Sound Agency, a firm that advises worldwide businesses — offices, retailers, hotels — on how to use sound. He asks us to pay attention to the sounds that surround us.

Listening to one another
In small groups,
One person will share for 2 minutes what they did last weekend or explain to you their favorite movie, video game, etc.
Another person will listen using the RASA posture (receive, appreciate, summarize, ask).
The remaining group members will observe the dialogue and offer insight and coaching to the active listener.
Rotate. After two minutes, you will switch.
R…Receive
A…Appreciate
S…Summarize
A…Ask

Listening to one another

R…Receive
A…Appreciate
S…Summarize
A…Ask
1. What did you hear?

2. How did you feel?
Was it difficult? Why or why not?

3. What was your body experiencing during this time?

4. What was your mind thinking of while you were listening?

Communication & the communication process
“The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place. “
George Bernard Shaw

Stead, B. (1972). Berlo’s Communication Process Model as Applied to the Behavioral Theories of Maslow, Herzberg, and McGregor. The Academy of Management Journal, 15(3), 389-394. Retrieved April 29, 2020, from www.jstor.org/stable/254868

Berlo, David., The Process of Communication (1960)

(van Ruler, 2004)

The communication process

Communication may be defined as a process concerning exchange of facts or ideas between persons.

The communication process is dynamic in nature rather than a static phenomenon.

The communication process

1. Sender: The person communicating.

The communication process

2. Encoding: Since the subject matter of communication is theoretical and intangible, its further passing requires use of certain symbols such as words, actions or pictures etc.
Conversion of subject matter into these symbols is the process of encoding.

The communication process

3. Message: What is actually being communicated …an idea, opinion, question, facts, information, etc…

The communication process

4. Channel: The means by which the individual is communicating the message – audio, video, words, emails, TV, sounds, non-verbal (body language).

The communication process

5. Receiver: The individual receiving the message.

The communication process

6. Decoding: The individual who receives the message or symbol from the communicator tries to convert the same in such a way so that he/she may extract its meaning in order to understand what is being communicated.

The communication process

Feedback:
How the receiver in turn provides feedback/ communication back to the sender or forward onto other receivers.

This creates a feedback loop whereby the receiver then becomes the sender and the process is repeated.

The communication process

Noise:
Anything that alters, changes or hinders the process of sharing and understanding meaning.

Examples of noise are…

Julian treasure… how to speak so that others will want to listen.
In the video, Julian shares a lot of great ideas and resources. Pay attention to the following and take notes:
Avoid the 4 “leeches” – what are they?
What are the 7 deadly sins of communication?
What 3 ”danger” words should we not use when communicating with others?
He lists 4 foundations of powerful communication (HAIL). What are they?

Insights

We can’t hear unless we understand how noise interrupts what we are listening for.

We can not learn or adjust unless we have feedback.

“To know thyself is the beginning of all wisdom.” Aristotle
Self Awareness & Interpersonal Conflict Management

Self awareness

1. What does self-awareness mean?

2. How is it connected to interpersonal conflict?

Self-awareness

We need to look to ourselves first to see what is going on within us in order to find the most effective, most successful way forward when dealing with conflict.

What is my underlying motivation in a conflict?

What values am I operating out of?

How do I view others in this conflict?

Do I understand my own conflict style?

Self-awareness
3 realities that often blindside us when dealing with conflict:

#1 The biggest obstacle to getting what we want is usually not the other person, no matter how difficult they might be…it is me and my own agenda, my own biases and my own perceptions.
(William Ury)

Self-awareness

#2 In conflict we often default to self-protect, self-defence, and self-promote in order to preserve our own sense of worth and well-being.

Self-awareness

#3 We often take on a “win-lose” posture – the only way we can get what we want is if the other person doesn’t, rather than a win-win posture whereby we both can walk away achieving a win.

Self-awareness

But before we can understand our ‘opponent’ we must first understand ourselves.

“We…are reaction machines. It is only natural to judge ourselves, to blame others, to fear scarcity, and to reject when we are rejected.” (William Ury)

If we can’t get to a place of personal security and peace, we cannot get to a place of peace in other relationships.

Self-awareness

“Before you can put yourself in another person’s shoes…put yourself in your own shoes first.
Listening to yourself can reveal what you really want.
At the same time, it can clear your mind so you have the mental and emotional space to be able to listen to the other person and understand what he or she really wants.”
(William Ury)

27

Self-awareness
If you can’t control your emotions or first initial reactions, you will not be able to deal with conflict in a non-destructive way:
When you feel attacked or threatened…can you separate yourself from your emotions and identify what you are feeling, and why, in a way that is irrelevant to the person you are dealing with?
Being able to identify what and why I am feeling enables me to neutralize the affects of the emotion and focus on the problem…not the person.
(William Ury)

If we react, or can’t control our response, people will pull away or distance themselves from us out of self-protection.
We can’t hear people if our own emotions are plugging up our mind and heart.

We can’t look at the problem unless we can separate the people from conflict.

“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.”
Ambrose Bierce

Go to the balcony see yourself the other person and the situation from a different perspective

The balcony is a metaphor for a mental and emotional place of perspective, calm, and self-control. It gives us time to evaluate, regulate and investigate what is going on inside of us.

Listening better Part 1: LISTEN 1 minutes of silence. Put everything away. Let’s get quiet.

Listening better Part 2: REFLECT 1. What did you hear? 2. How did you feel? 3. Was it difficult? Why or why not? 4. What was your body experiencing during this time? 5. What was your mind thinking of while you were listening?

33

For next week…

REVIEW:
Today’s ppt
READ:
Scudder, Patterson & Mitchell (2012), Chapters 6-10.
Review SDI handout in Class 3.
Complete DQ Forum on Communications before next class.
Start thinking about Reflection Paper #1.

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LDRS 400 Interpersonal Leadership: Managing Conflict
Lecture #3

Review
Noise – focus broader than physical. All things that prevent you from decoding the senders message
Feedback positive and negative – observable things that tell you the sent message was received in the intended way
The power of listening 1) you can adjust to what you hear 2) the receiver becomes more open to hearing you
Remember – communication is two-way
Today we will explore Motivational Values Systems (MVS) using Strength Development Inventory (SDI)

We need to change our approach, our understanding and our current Beliefs concerning conflict.

Conflict is uncomfortable but we can do uncomfortable things.
Conflict tells me what’s important to me, to the other person and helps us learn more about one another.
I’m not a victim of it, but a participant in walking through it.
Because I am in control of me, I can do conflict, it doesn’t do me.

BEHAVIOUR is driven by motivation to achieve self-worth

How does our behaviour shift?
Depends on who we are with and where we are (work, home, social events, public, private).
Conflict happens when we feel our self-worth is threatened. You are not able to live out your motivational values.

Our MOTIVATION changes when we are in conflict.

We may behave differently – we may feel different, we have different motives, different ideas of how and why we want the conflict to be resolved.

5 keys to having a nice conflict…

5 keys to having a nice conflict are:
#1 ANTICIPATE
Expect it — it will happen.
When two or more people see things differently, there will be conflict.
Consider people’s triggers.
Consider peoples motivations and intentions.
Discover the why about people, not just the observable behavior.

5 keys to having a nice conflict are:
#2 PREVENT
Know yourself and what behaviours you need to adjust or borrow to help prevent a conflict even before it happens.
Figure out how to get your intent across to another person so it will not be misinterpreted.
Know your strengths and when overdone how they can be a weakness.

5 keys to having a nice conflict are:
#3 IDENTIFY
Look for clues to conflict in yourself and others
Blue – accommodating
Red – rising to the challenge
Green – cautious analysis
Hub – flexaholic
Spot the shift in motivational values in yourself and others to know when people are in conflict.
Try to identify conflict in stage 1 before it goes to stage 2 or 3.

5 keys to having a nice conflict are:
#4 MANAGE
Approach conflict based on how people are feeling in the conflict (red, blue, green, hub)
Know what’s important to them, respect that and let them know what’s important to you (respectfully and graciously).
Create conditions where others can also manage themselves well.

5 keys to having a nice conflict are:
#5 RESOLVE
To create movement towards resolution we need to show them the path back to self-worth.
Removing barriers and threats to self-worth and help both parties feel good about the resolution.

STRENGTHS, when overdone or misapplied can be perceived as weaknesses.

A lot of the conflict we experience comes from the different perceptions we each have of our strengths and the strengths of others. What is a strength for me can at times be a weakness or hindrance to someone else.

PERSONAL FILTERS influence perception

We are all looking through different sets of sunglasses.
When we know the motivational values of others, it helps us put on their glasses and see the world through their lens.

In the book, “Have a Nice Conflict”, the authors use the SDI framework to provide awareness and tools to manage conflict in relationships, both personally and professionally.

“The SDI is a powerful and effective tool for understanding the motives and values that drive behaviors. The SDI plays off people’s basic need to better understand themselves and others, and that understanding allows them to lead with clarity and empathy, build stronger teams, and more effectively navigate conflict.”
History & Development of SDI 2.0

SDI 2.0 Triangle, 2018

How do others see us?
At home?
In my family?
With my closet friends?
With people I don’t know very well?
In my LDRS 400 Class?
With my boyfriend/ girlfriend?
At work?
On vacation?

What’s your motivational value system (MVS)?

Our Lenses 7 Colours

Red

Blue

Green

Hub

SDI Charting Triangle – Motivational Value Systems

There are 7 motivational value systems the SDI charts. Each of us lands somewhere on this chart.
When things are going well, we find comfort and ease with our MVS.
http://effectiveimages.blogspot.ca/2011/06/sdi-poster.html
GET RESULTS
HELP OTHERS
ANALYZE INDEPENDENTLY

Motivational Value Systems
Altruistic–Nurturing (BLUE) Concern for the protection, growth, and welfare of others.

Assertive–Directing (RED) Concern for task accomplishment and concern for organization of people, time, money and any other resources to achieve desired results.

Analytic–Autonomising (GREEN) Concern for assurance that things have been properly thought out and concern for meaningful order being established and maintained.

Flexible–Cohering (HUB)  Concern for flexibility, concern for the welfare of the group, concern for the members of the group and for belonging in the group.

Learning Tools & Models

Motivational Value Systems
Assertive–Nurturing (RED-BLUE) Concern for the protection, growth, and welfare of others through task accomplishment and leadership.

Judicious–Competing (RED-GREEN) Concern for intelligent assertiveness, justice, leadership, order, and fairness in competition.

Cautious–Supporting (BLUE-GREEN) Concern for affirming and developing self-sufficiency in self and others, concern for thoughtful helpfulness with regard for justice.

How do others see us?
Characteristic
BLUE: Altruistic – Nurturing
RED: Assertive- Directing
GREEN: Analytical- Autotomizing
HUB: Flex-Cohering

Also Known As
Friendly; helpers, nice guys, warn hearted, helpers.
Winners; go-getters and fighters.
Thinkers; planners, organizers and analyzers.
Team players; socializers and compromisers

Known As
Pushovers. Bleeding hearts and doormats.
Bullies, dictators and task-masters.
Nit-pickers, loners, analysis-paralysis sufferers, cold-hearted.
Wishy-washy, unpredictable, chameleons.

Breakout Groups (10 minutes)
 

Discuss the different colour profiles with your groups.

From your discussion, discuss the following:

What do you think your colour is,
Explain why you think that colour represents your personality?

Often biggest pain points are in 1-on-1 relationships when opposites collide – over 50% of surveyed people say their opposite were most challenging to work with and least enjoyable

But despite the difficulties different styles can create for team performance, opposite styles can still balance each other – generate create and productive tension (Lennon and MaCCartney/ Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak) – these differences made such collaborations powerful

Intentionally be a Devils Advocate in the shoes of your opposite – As a Driver, say “if I were to view this issues through the eyes of an Integrator….”

22

SDI Charting Triangle – Motivational Value Systems
http://effectiveimages.blogspot.ca/2011/06/sdi-poster.html

What’s your motivational value system?
SDI Interpretive Guide handout (one has also been posted on the moodle for reference).
Let us read through this document together, highlight the words and phrases in each category that BEST describe you in order for you to confirm your MVS colour.
This is not an exact outcome since we are not actually taking the test.
It will give you an idea of what your MVS is and how it shows up in your life.

SDI Motivational Value Systems

http://www.developing-potential.co.uk/assets/uploads/dp05bd02f07d5e4c9ebdf2a05ffb027e67.pdf

SDI Motivational Value Systems

http://www.developing-potential.co.uk/assets/uploads/dp05bd02f07d5e4c9ebdf2a05ffb027e67.pdf

SDI Motivational Value Systems

http://www.developing-potential.co.uk/assets/uploads/dp05bd02f07d5e4c9ebdf2a05ffb027e67.pdf

http://www.developing-potential.co.uk/assets/uploads/dp05bd02f07d5e4c9ebdf2a05ffb027e67.pdf

Let’s take a look at our MVS and discover
what an overdone strength looks like to us.

Break Out Exercise – 10 minutes
Take turns.
Say something only your colour would say…
Can your group guess what colour you are based on what you said?

Then take turns, saying something of a different colour.
Can your group guess who you are pretending to be?

How do I show up in conflict? – conflict sequence

Conflict sequence- What conflict looks & feels like

There is a predictable pattern of behavioral changes that happen when we move into serious conflict.
http://slideplayer.com/slide/5682946/

Conflict sequence- What conflict looks & feels like

STAGE 3: The focus in only on self.
This is the most damaging stage because we have lost sight of the actual problem and the person.

SDI Charting Triangle – Conflict Sequence

The conflict sequence is the internal changes in feelings and motives in response to perceived threats.
While people most frequently use behaviour that looks very similar to the way they are feeling, other behaviour choices are always available.

http://www.developing-potential.co.uk/assets/uploads/dp05bd02f07d5e4c9ebdf2a05ffb027e67.pdf

13 Possible Conflict Sequences

Consider how you MOST OFTEN walk through conflict. Reflect on a recent conflict you had and replay the scenario and look for clues as to how you felt, acted and behaved in that conflict at each of the three stages.

In Pairs or Small Groups

Take a couple of minutes and identity what you think is your conflict sequence.
One person share their sequence.
Give an example of when this sequence has played out in your life.
Repeat until everyone has shared.
If someone is struggling to find their sequence, work with them using the definitions in the SDI handout.
Hint – Start from your MVS

How do we figure out other people’s motivational value systems?

Because people only go into conflict about things that are important to them, it’s a great opportunity to learn what is important to them:
We can listen better.
Observe and ask good questions.
Communicate better and in a way that speaks to them in their “lens”.
Find out their SDI colour and observe their conflict sequence if possible.

SDI 2.0 Team Triangle, 2018

For next week

READ:
Have a Nice Conflict, pages 199-234 (finish the book)
Additional readings posted in the Moodle.

Finish DQ Forum #1
Personality assignment
Reflection Paper #1

SDI: Strength Deployment inventory

Assessment tools red: assertive-directing

Concern for task accomplishment

Organizes people and resources to achieve results

“I want to get things done.”

Assessment tools red: assertive-directing

Characteristics:

Doer

Fighter

Pushed for authority, leadership and responsibility

Uses persuasion

Takes risks

Challenges others

Is alert to opportunity

Assessment tools red: assertive-directing

Characteristic Strengths:
Self-confident
Enterprising
Ambitious
Organizing
Persuasive
Bold
Risk taking
Imaginative
Quick to act

If Overdone, Strengths Become
Arrogant
Opportunistic
Ruthless
Controlling
Abrasive
Conceited
Dictatorial
Rash
Dreamer
Brash
Combative
Gambler

Assessment tools red: assertive-directing

Assessment Tools: blue: altruistic-Nurturing

Concern for protection, growth and well-being of others

“I want to help people”

Characteristics:
A friendly helper
Is open and responsive to people
Avoids being a burden
Promotes harmony
Makes life easier for others
Is supportive
Is warm hearted

Assessment Tools: blue: altruistic-Nurturing

Assessment Tools: blue: altruistic-Nurturing

Characteristic Strengths:

Trusting
Optimistic
Loyal
Idealistic
Helpful
Devoted
Caring
Modest
Polite
Undemanding
Supportive
Accepting

Assessment Tools: blue: altruistic-Nurturing

If Overdone, Strengths Become:

Gullible
Blind
Impractical
Wishful
Smothering
Submissive

Subservient
Passive
Deferential
Self-sacrificing

Assessment Tool: Green: Analytical – Autonomizing

Concern for precision, and establishing and maintaining order.

Likes rules and procedures.

Achieve self-worth when things have been properly thought through

“I like systems and processes”

Assessment Tool: Green: Analytical – Autonomizing

Characteristics:

Thinks

Plans

Searches for meaningful order

Controls emotions

Is concerned that things have been properly thought through

Is cautious and thorough

Is fair and principled

Assessment Tool: Green: Analytical – Autonomizing

Cautious
Practical
Economical
Reserved
Methodical
Analytical
Principled
Fair
Persevering
Conserving
Thorough

Characteristic Strengths

Assessment Tool: Green: Analytical – Autonomizing

Suspicious
Unimaginative
Stingy
Cold
Rigid
Nit-picking
Unbending
Compulsive
Stubborn
Possessive
Obsessive
Unfeeling

If Overdone, Strengths Become

Assessment tool: HUB: flex-cohering

Can adapt to a variety of situations.

Likes to look at a variety of perspectives and outlooks

“I like change and adaptation.”

Assessment tool: HUB: flex-cohering

Characteristics

Is task-oriented

Is a flexaholic

Shows concern for feelings of others

Is thorough

Is supportive

Is open and responsive to new ideas

Is strong at times in providing own ideas

Assessment tool: HUB: flex-cohering

Characteristic Strengths
Flexible
Open to change
Socializer
Experimenter
Curious
Adaptable
Tolerant
Open to compromise
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